...and here's why you can't get mad...

I'm always late. That's a given. If you hangout with me once you'll notice it, twice you'll know it.

In addition to this I tend to be hard to book. There is a reason for this and it's closely related to the above point. Given this I like to set plans loosely, especially if I know it's a bar hopping evening or I have a dinner commitment with good convo people etc. If I say "let's meet up for drinks tonight" and I know I'm going to be with other people or have an earlier commitment I will leave it at that: "let's meet up for drinks tonight". I might say "I'll call you after dinner" or "I should be there around 9pm, but I'll let you know" or "I'll give you an eta closer to ___pm (insert time here)". But I have found it's best never to give an eta if it's for a casual1 event and I'm doing something before, as chances are I'll be an hour later than my promised eta.

For example, last night I had a work dinner that started at 7:30pm. I expected it would be done within 2 hours. Not sticking to my rule because a reservation had been made, I said I would be somewhere around 9ish. I wasn't, as dinner was not done until 11pm. When I finally looked at my phone, once the bill had been paid, I had 6 text messages and 2 missed calls from a bunch of people I had said I wanted to "meet up for drinks" with. 2

I understand and notice that for some this is frustrating ("why can't you just commit?!", "yeah, Jasmine's always late" or "damn you're annoying when trying to schedule something...") but it's who I am

and here's why you can't get mad...

When I'm with people I'm truly with them. I live in the moment and make an effort to be present at all times. If you've hungout with me at any point in the last 4 years I think you would be hard pressed to find a moment I spent with you where you could tell I would rather be somewhere else. I never look at my phone when at dinner, I don't rush from one casual social event to get to another, I don't wear a watch, and if we're talking, I try to listen to every word and not be off in my own head. Now of course I don't achieve this all the time (I'm not perfect) but I try and it's because of this effort that the times I spend with people are most often not defined by the clock but rather when the interaction feels complete.

So, even though I'm late a lot and have a hard time committing ahead of time, you can know that when I'm with you, I'm with you and I will have a good time and enjoy your presence...(and of course this is up to you) but I would hope this would tip the scales in my favor in spite of my tardy shortcomings.


1) Please note, when I say casual I am normally referring to something where lots of people are involved and my not being there at a specific time does not affect whether people enjoy themselves or not.
2) All of the calls were just people checking in and seeing what my deal was because, well, they know me.